mentally abused or stupidity? light bulb!

it been a while is it? since the last time i write a post...regarding comeback......i guess...such a bluffing! duuhh! and tonight some sense come and whack my head until my nerve in the brain functional ....maybe....well since i'm start thingking....

what is actually the real attentions or need or main point or...what so ever i call it.....i start to write a blog.....well..maybe....i already mention it in my previous post...very llooooonnng previous.....that my intention is...." saya start tulis blog sebab senior saya kata ini satu permulaan yang baik dalam membina ayat"....or something sound like that.....-_-..

but as i remember, i already have this blog ever since before i wrote that "intention post"...so it make me wonder back... what is actually the reason i start this blog...was it....to..

ikut orang lain.......or...

nak lepas perasaan......or...

saja nak menggedik.....or..

saja je.....

well so far...the obvious reason is..."ikut orang", "permulaan yang baik dalam membina kata-kata", "nak lepas perasaan"...kot....

but then i reliazed something...that i'm not a kind of person who love to curahkan segala perasaan kat wall or post or what-so-ever you call it.....untuk orang lain baca....i rather swallow all of the bad feeling on my own....pain in my own is better that you make other people pain....and not all thing we have to share....*i would love to have my own privacy space*...

i'm not a person who love to write every in their blog or some one who stay in front of the computer write alone.... without passion...*not every time we has passion to write right?*....and i have an illness which we call it PEMALAS!

and FYI....i even "meniru style seseorg" ketika menulis sekarang ni.....worst of me! right?! damn!

so was it....."ikut orang"?...naahh! .....maybe half of it....coz..hello! i have my own style ok!....

"to improve my skill in 'membina ayat' "?...well maybe....coz i can mumbling in this wall of mine...talking nonsense whether in English or Malay.....whatever i choose.....and in my observation, it helps a lot!

so it is a mental abused ...well... since i realize my own mistake....which is "mempunyai niat yang salah" and it whacking my head non-stop! ouch!...or maybe stupidity.....whatever!-_-....

so i guess here is the end of my post.....THIS POST!....maybe i'll comeback...LATER! *after another whack come to the back of my head*...to write another post...T_T.....till then.....see you soon......

p/s: Aunt English will come and kill me if she read this broken English post!